August 22, 2013

well today my babe officially moved back up to logan and i'm trying to stay positive, but honestly i can't help but feel so sad right now! ah. i miss him so bad it makes my heart hurt. we knew it was coming and that we were gonna have to start long distance but it's so freaking hard. so freaking hard. and all i think about all day is how am i gonna make it through this?! props to people who have done it or are doing it and make it look easy. i've been bawling my eyes out the last three days and i can't stop feeling like i want to cry every two seconds, so i just cry. he called tonight and i started crying, what is wrong with me? i came home and looked through old pictures of us and pinned a slew of "couples in love" pictures. i feel like it's especially hard because we've been next door neighbors for the last two years so we are transitioning from always being together to all of a sudden just the weekends and face time dates. it used to be that i would just walk over to his house or vice versa and we'd have lunch after school or watch a movie before he left for work. so i just keep telling myself "this is good for our relationship" or "this will help us appreciate each other more", but all i want is to see him at the end of every day and have him wrap me up and talk about our day. (yeah i'm getting mushy but i just have to get it out.) the hardest part for me is gonna be seeing him on the weekends, then leaving and having to wait another week to see him. right now i'm just counting down till saturday till i get to grab his face and kiss him!  when he drove off today it felt like my heart was being ripped out. so maaaaaaaaaybe we'll be getting married sooner than planned ;) 

so this is to you beej: you may drive me crazy at times, but you are my best friend and my favorite person on this entire planet. you have my whole heart and i couldn't imagine life without you. i will miss you like crazy crazy crazy.

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